Summons to Conquest

Here it is…the first post EVER on Clap Cowards, my first real blog that is actually going to be updated more than once a leap year.

Deceased blogs from me (’06-’08) include:

5 O’Clock Free Crack Giveaway
Mittens for Maisy
Your Gun is Digging Into my Hip (Hop)
Gangsta Shit
Audacious Lymphnode
I’m Lovin’ That Lil’ Wayne
Pets.com

As you can see, I haven’t been very successful with my past blog enterprises.  I’ve pretty much driven them all into the ground.  But if I’ve learned anything from George Bush and Isiah Thomas, a million dollar smile seems to wipe away error upon multi-million dollar error–and blogs are FREE!!!  I had braces in the 8th grade, so frankly I can’t lose.

Ultimately, I wanted a central place besides my MySpace page to harvest all the crap (Latin for poop) I’m doing throughout this bountiful land of webage.  Besides, my mom always told me one day I’d be an outstanding “writer” (but since she fears rap music and doesn’t necessarily qualify “lyrics” with “art” or “credible literature” then this blog will just have to do). 

 So it’s gonna get weirder and funnier and off-topic and redudant from here on out.  But I promise you that at NO POINT will you ever get pregnant here at Clap Cowards.  Guaranteed, folks.

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7 thoughts on “Summons to Conquest

  1. This and Passion of the Weiss are going to be part of my early morning online reading rituals. Yep, I do read passionweiss on some spy girl shit.

    Aside from Myspace…
    I start my morning with Oh No They Didn’t ! (your avergae celeb gossip site). Then, I graduate to Beauty101. After that, I dumb it down and go to 215hiphop (kidding).

    You are an incredible writer (rapper, producer, advice-giver, soy milk-drinker, blahblahblah), so I look forward to dis ish. You better come correct. Can’t wait. *squeeee*

  2. zilla, i’m definitely looking forward to regular posts on clap cowards. and since your mom doesn’t consider being a rapper an art-form or literature, you should take some of your lyrics and publish them as poetry. i’ve been teetering on pilfering my old rhyme books for the past five years or so. i’m sure i’ll get to it eventually.

    something tells me this blog is going to border on literature, as well.

  3. My mom acknowledges my “talents” and has liked a couple of songs that I feel would be up her alley. She takes this hip hop more seriously now that I’ve done shows outside of North Philly. I might have to do a whole post on her because she’s definitely my mentor and the smarter person I’ve ever known. And she makes killer eggplant parm…

  4. “Your Gun is Digging Into my Hip (Hop)” is a tremendous name for a blog. Clap Cowards works, too, though.

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