Game Time

I put off my weekly rundown of the Bears game (Yay Sexy Rexy!) and the genesis of my Sixers posts in order to wack you over the melon in case, you know, you DIDN’T HEAR that today is election day.

From what I’ve heard so far, the lines are long (great!), people are showing up with their entire families to vote for the first time (flippin’ fantastic!), and African American voters in some parts are having their IDs heavily scrutinized before they’re allowed entry into booths (eww). 

However tonight shakes down, let’s just keep in mind that if McCain wins, I move to Toronto (the Bata Shoe Museum in downtown Toronto contains Napoleon Bonaparte’s socks).  But let’s also keep in mind that the car you drive is a good idea of how you will vote.

Domestic brands, such as GMC, Ford, Chevrolet, and Buick, seat drivers who are mostly pro McCain.  People driving Mini Coopers, Subaru, Saab, and Honda all plan to vote for Barack.  McCain is throwing some D’s on that bitch, especially with full-size truck owners and full-size and luxury SUV owners.  Obama is getting that hybrid love (no Jamie Lee Curtis), as well as the vote from station wagons, sport wagons, luxury wagons, hatchbacks, and luxury crossover vehicles.   

Check out the oil my pro-McCain Cadillac con-sumes!

This study leaves Nissan owners like myself out in the dust.  Are more likely to vote for Nader since our cars get average MPG but have cool tail lights?  I don’t know what conclusion I can draw based on my Altima, but I’m gonna drive down and vote it up today and hopefully keep my passport on ice tomorrow.



  1. Hmm, you like keeping stuff on ice. Anyway, I will be moving to Canada too if he wins. Most likely Toronto since weed is legal there, however, I haven’t made a definite decision on what province is best and contains the least French people. I like your car comparison . If Honda is like Toyota and Scion is Toyota, you’re right on the money there, friend.

  2. Hmm, they didn’t even bother to check my I.D. when I went to vote today. It felt so good. I might vote twice!

  3. They didn’t check my ID either. I did get 2 free cookies though! Democracy is declicious!

  4. for the record, i went to vote, and almost got my ID checked, but the lady that was helping me (she was black!) told the woman trying to check, “i got this.” yessssssss.

    if obama wins. i’m getting drunk.
    if mccain wins, i’m getting even drunker.

    and then, i’m going to hit up my peoples in montreal and see what i can do about splitting to canada and becoming an illegal alien. you may never hear from douglas martin again, fam. 😉

  5. Maybe it’s Montreal where the weed is legal. I’ll do the research if/when necessary. To add to the other comments, I didn’t get my ID checked but that’s not much of a surprise considering the factors – which are pretty fucked up, but will use to my advantage when needed. PA turned out a LOT of voters, especially in Philly. I can’t wait to see the results AND I’m already half packed if I do need to head north 🙂

  6. I find that research flawed because I drive a Chevy, and I’m sure somewhere down the line it’s even more flawed than that. As for Toronto it has the Hockey Hall of Fame which is fantastic! The cup is so shiny! It’s also not that far from Niagara Falls which is also fantastic and has plenty to keep you busy. I was also not checked for ID but most of the people in there knew me anyway.

  7. My ID got checked and my Mom works the polls and told the lady who I was after she found my name on the list (and my younger brother had voted about 2 hours prior to me). I didn’t care though, it was me in my ID pic and I voted my ass off. I filled in those ovals totally and I even double checked both sides. I’m impressed with the voter turnout all across the nation. Clearly the people have spoken.

    Now what the fuck did they all say?


    Expect a message on your MySpace page later tonight either way, Zilla.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s