Ladies, Step Your Game Up

Before I left the Rocca Lair today, I saw one of those morning local talk shows on Fox.  As I was putting on my Mad Men skinny tie, I overheard the talking heads yabber on about “how come men wait so long to ask a woman for their hand in marriage”?  This chatter segued into why men usually wait 3 days to call a chick once securing the phone number.

Here were some of the points (I’m paraphrasing):

“A man waits three days to call because he doesn’t want to look too anxious or desparate”–Chuck Nice, comedian

“With me, I’d just call the next day to show I’m confident.  You know, just step right in there”–Lomas Brown, retired NFL offenseive lineman

“Remember in Swingers when the guy called the girl that night?  That didn’t work out so well”–Mike…Something, host of Fox morning show

“I don’t buy ANY of that!  Ladies in the audience, you don’t to wait three days, right?  That makes us think the guy’s not really in to us.  Wouldn’t we like it if a guy called the next dayRight?!?”–Blonde woman, co-host of Fox morning show

Lomas Brown makes the least sense among the men because he’s a millionaire and he played for the Detroit Lions.  His logic is obviously skewed by being marginally famous, rich, and on TV as a semi-broadcaster.  And he should be thankful he didn’t play under the Matt Millen regime. 

The female co-host is off her rocker. 

Here’s why:  women want to be forgotten about. 

They want to wonder and pontificate and text their girlfriends about why the hell, exactly, Johnny Suede hasn’t called yet. 

To paraphrase Trent (Vince Vaughn) in Swingers, “Laugh all you want, but call too soon and you could scare away a nice baby who’s looking to party.”  Mikey learned that lesson in probably the most painfully comedic scene of the late 90s.

Call too soon and she thinks you’re a herb with nothing better to do. 
Call too soon and she think you’re damaged goods looking to latch on to someone. 
Call too soon and you become “the friend,” a fate worse than beingYung Berg in a prison break.

To my female readers, I dare you to defend the ideals of this co-host on the Fox morning show.  I DARE YOU…TO COME AGAINST ME!

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7 thoughts on “Ladies, Step Your Game Up

  1. So, even though I really hate Juliet – the female co-host – I must agree with her on this(what the hell time do u leave for work?). I don’t speak for all women, just myself when I say calling the next day is appropriate. It doesn’t make the guy look desperate, anxious or any of that other bumbaclot bullshit you gentelmen seem to think. Mr. Brown was correct, it shows confidence – regardless of monetary or fame status (we all have the ability to be confident). I think it makes the guy appear genuine and real. Men are fucking idiots who really don’t have brains when it comes to women, or anything slightly more complicated than a football game (again, this is just my opinion!) What I look for is a real ass dude. And, in my book, a real ass dude is someone who is not afraid of how he may look or be interpreted because he already knows how he is and doesn’t care too much what others think. Waiting to call someone is playing a game. Real ass dudes do real things, they don’t play games. Games are for kids, and so are Trix™ for that matter.

  2. great post dude… Really though, fuck a phone number. At 27, I have no desire to get a number anymore unless I have a tangible reason to ask for it. Not being a perv- a kiss, or even a conversation that goes past the “what do you do for a living” nonsense works. If you at least get there, it probably doesn’t matter when you call the girl.

    Then again, we all know some chicks don’t want you until they think you don’t give a fuck. In that case, don’t call.. ever… They’ll eventually find you on facebook (lol).

  3. “. And, in my book, a real ass dude is someone who is not afraid of how he may look or be interpreted because he already knows how he is and doesn’t care too much what others think. ”

    This is a great premise, however if the real ass dude approaches a booger chick, she’ll misinterpret his realness and think he’s clingy. That’s her loss obviously, but if dude’s digging her, he’s gonna feel salty for the time being until someone else comes along.

    My overall point is that women SAY ONE THING in public to people but ACTUALLY want the other. All humans do this.

  4. Crooner:

    “great post dude… Really though, fuck a phone number. At 27, I have no desire to get a number anymore unless I have a tangible reason to ask for it. Not being a perv- a kiss, or even a conversation that goes past the “what do you do for a living” nonsense works. If you at least get there, it probably doesn’t matter when you call the girl.”

    exact-a-mundo! I feel weird a) asking for a number and b) calling someone anymore. To quote Danny Glover, “we getting too old for this shit!”

  5. 1. Chick is definitely off her rocker
    2. Women definitely do not want to be forgotten about. If they are going to be texting their girlfriends about anything they much rather text them and tell them good news about how the guy called then feel like shit if he doesn’t.

    Although I agree with doe$tax to an extent (it definitely shows some confidence in calling the chick the next day) I don’t think it’s necessary, at least not for people in our age bracket.

    “Call too soon and she thinks you’re a herb with nothing better to do.
    Call too soon and she think you’re damaged goods looking to latch on to someone.
    Call too soon and you become “the friend,” a fate worse than being Yung Berg in a prison break.”

    True.

    If two people meet in any kind of setting and they are feelin each other and talk enough to get past the stupid bullshit (like dom said just gettin a number is a waste these days) they would come to a mutual agreement on when someone should call. For instance… If you meet on the weekend at some party, club, gathering, etc. and you hit it off someone can say “I’ll call you during the week maybe we can do something next weekend.” Or if you meet during the week you can say “I’ll call you this weekend maybe we can do something and hang out” either or. I just think that if you meet someone and you actually talk and hit it off you will know when the right time is to call and the guy doesn’t have to use any stupid 3 day rule and the girl doesn’t have to get her panties in a bunch when he doesn’t call right away. The only time it gets complicated is if a guy says he’ll call you in a couple days and you don’t hear from him in a week then he is either playin games (which who wants to be playin games at this age?) or “He’s Just Not That Into You” and the conversation you had and the time you spent flirting with each other was a complete waste of time. Get over, move on, and continue to live cause the other person obviously is.

    I’m not really into the whole phone thing unless I’m really into a guy so at first meeting it doesn’t really bother me so who am I to have a say in this?

  6. three days is fine… if you’re dating a 19-year-old. i think the “three-day rule” should feel antiquated if you’re dating a woman and not a girl. girls are fine with the guessing games, because they don’t have much else better to do. most cool women don’t have time for games, because they have rent (or a mortgage), a career (or a day-job coupled with school or some sort of artistic endeavor, which makes free time even more valuable), and maybe even a kid or two. maybe it’s just the type of women i like to date, but most of them are too busy to wait three days to see if you like them.

    but calling the day after seems sort of desperate, from both the male and female perspective.

    i propose amending the “callback rule” to two days.

  7. Douglas:

    I think the “Callback Rule” could be amended to 2 days if the woman is 25+ and fits the criteria you listed.

    *Getting the official ClapCowards gavel out*

    STAMP!

    Next…

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