Lady Killer: Haikulyhighharmony

 

Nicole wouldn’t be caught dead dressed as a prepped out Islamic leader, though she was a rogue member of the East Coast Family for almost two decades.

We fucked in the back

Of your converted cop car

While baby moms called.

 

Oh, did I mention

It was on your kid’s car seat?

“It” being” my snatch.

 

Good thing you look like

B2K’s long lost member…

But a lot less gay.

 

I’ve got a thing for

Dudes who don’t have a thing for

My mad boning skills.

 

All Lifetime movies

Will forever be better

Than, well, everything.

 

Hating Lil Wayne

Is the new loving Lil Wayne.

Make up your mind, bitch.

 

Hating Lil Wayne

Is just your way of making

Your lil Wayne bigger.

 

Hate parties, bullshit,

Other people’s kids, problems,

And farts. Love big dicks.

 

Heidi and Spencer:

Scumbags who probably shave

All their pubic hairs.

 

Sequence of events:

MySpace stalk, schedule fuck date,

Smash, bounce, then ignore.

 

Looking for a date

For a wedding in 9 months.

Yo, I’m punctual.

 

Looking for a date

For a wedding in 9 months.

Don’t dance? Don’t bother.

 

Hand sanitizer

Is the trip to the clinic

You don’t have to make.

 

Rub it on your piece–

It might burn a little bit!

A small price to pay.

 

Still can’t get enough

Of Positive K’s brilliant

“I Got a Man.” And?

 

I judge people on:

Promptness of text responses,

Hair, breath, and sneakers.

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5 thoughts on “Lady Killer: Haikulyhighharmony

  1. This one is a multiple quoter…Dart don’t do MULTIPLE quotes! This is internet history right here.

    First off, lemme say:

    Injection fellas! Uhh Ahh Uhhhhhhhhhh uh ahh! © Boyz II Men

    Let’s now move to:

    Welcome to the AlexVanderpoolEra! © Mike Bivins

    And now, the strong finish:

    I saw Biv New Year’s Eve @ a JAMN 94.5 concert I performed at back in 1996. I said what up and told him “You knew that cats in the hood weren’t gonna go for the one sneaker, one boot shit, right?”. Homie said “On the real, we was gettin’ so much green at the time that we wasn’t even thinkin’ right!”.

    Domino, motherfucker! © Doughboy

    One.

  2. Not to distract from the haiku, which was dope as usual, but Dart: you were performing up in Boston in ’96? Hit me up some time, I’d be interested in hearing some of the other places you were at back then.

  3. “it” being my snatch made me spit all over my week-old computer monitor! you’re on some shit, nicole. and we’re all better for it.

    doe, it’s best you never find out who heidi and spencer are; you might turn out disappointed. i say that, but admittedly, i’d tag heidi on the low.

    shaving with the 1 guard > not shaving

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