I Think I’m Losing My Mind This Time

I feel like my brain is going to trascend my body, but not in a cool Scientologist way.  I’m literally about to crack from information overload.  I started ClapCowards as a way to flex the writing muscles, and now I’ve become another promo blog to outside artists/publicists/PR mofo’s.  That was never the intention of the site, and yet every 8 seconds my inbox is flooded with emails from some d-bag I don’t care to know pumping music I’ll never listen to. 

This is the downside of Web 2.0 Music: anyone who has a dot-com becomes a digital record store, whether they want to or not.  True, I send out music from my camp to other bloggers, but not in a blind frenzy to be seen once by someone who has no other content outside of zshare links that pop up in their inbox everyday.  My fellow music bloggers who read this blog, what can I do to be taken off these mailing lists besides outright erasing my email address?  It’s really wearing me out–I’m an artist first, writer second, promotional vehicle for shitty mixtape rappers one-hundred and seventieth.

“Yeaaaaah…head crack, head crack!”

***

In the meantime, here’s some great stuff I’ve been consuming crammed into half a blog post on Friday:

-The AV Club is one of the treats I enjoy everyday–it’s like the Sunday Entertainment Section of the Philadelphia Inquirer except they’ll interview Mayim Balik just ’cause.  For a segment called My Year in Flops, which examines box office buttplugs, the Steven Segal vehicle On Deadly Ground gets diced to shreds.  It’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in the early going of ’09.  I grew up just missing the Segal Era (I was more of a Van Damme guy) and this piece makes me want to grow a ponytail and punch an Eskimo in the thorax.

-If you’re an east coast hip hop fan, you’ve got to know about Juan Epstein, the radio show with Cipha Sounds and Pete Rosenberg.  What a novel idea: two hip hop disciples interviewing dynamic rap personalities with Hot 97 fronting the bill.  It’s what thieves call “the smart money.”  This week’s podcast features the esteemable Paul Mooney, a man who says the N word every day just to “keep his teeth white.”  It’s a fascinating interview–Mooney was best friends with Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and spent extensive time with OJ Simpson and Madonna.  Hear him break down the importance of Michelle Obama’s dumper, why OJ thinks he’s Shaft, and how he delt with Michael Jackson blowing up his voicemail during the early 90s.

-My favorite sportswriter, Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star, examines the most winning player in baseball history.  This player has a better winning percentage than Bobby Cox, Sparky Anderson, Tony LaRussa, and Danny Tartabull.  (Hint: I’ve written about him more than once.  And it’s not Jose Oquendo.)

Larry David.  Woody Allen.  Ed Begely Jr.  It’s happening!  Summer ’09.

-“Don’t ever forget two things I’m going to tell you.  One, don’t believe everything that’s written about you.  Two, don’t pick up too many checks.”–Happy Birthday Babe Ruth!

***

YOUR WEEKEND CHALLENGE

Use this phrase in casual conversation:

“Who the hell do you think you are?  Omar Gooding??!??!”

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5 thoughts on “I Think I’m Losing My Mind This Time

  1. -I don’t have any advice for you as far as stopping the crappy music people from emailing you other than write crappy stuff so they don’t want their name associated with you, but that’s shitty advice.

    -I have been completely obsessed with The AV Club ever since you told me about I read it faithfully.

    -That Woody Allen movie sounds pretty dope.

    -That’s fantastic advice from The Great Bambino, I never believe anything written about me and I do my best to never pick up a check.

  2. Yo, anytime anyone is giving big ups to Paul Mooney, I am there……he is my favorite standup on the planet, there is nothing that he will not say and he could give two shits about who is offended by it…..the things he remembers about Pryor alone are worth the time it takes to listen, but I’d listen to this guy talk anyday, he is a comedic god as far as I’m concerned, kudos.

  3. i don’t know exactly what to do about promo e-mails. since the shit went down with moms, i’ve been trying to answer back with a seriously terse e-mail about my extended leave from the blog, but they’ll answer back with something else.

    i thought i sent a stern-enough message on the blog when, on my contact page, i write, “i more than likely won’t write about your band.” maybe i’ll have to go with something less professional, like, “I DO NOT ACCEPT PROMO E-MAILS. IF YOU SEND ME ONE, EXPECT A REPLY WITH PHOTOS OF ME FUCKING YOUR MOM.”

  4. I actually like the promo emails. Yeah, a lot of it isn’t that good, but the occasional gem makes it worthwhile to sift through the rest of it. I will say that the emails that come directly from the artist (or the p.r. agent pretending to be the artist) tend to be much better than the generic promo blasts.

  5. Promo e-mails are the bane of my existence. I almost pay them no mind. The ones I get from people I look up to/seek out are cool but the links to a full month of freestyles a la Life The Great (how’d that work out for him by the way?)…Fuck outta here with that shit!

    I’ll be using that quote EVERYWHERE now. Thanks Zilla.

    One.

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