Lady Killer: Four Eyes Are Better Than Two


For the latest installment of Lady Killer, Nicole has decided to celebrate the Vernal Equinox a full 8 days early.  You, the faithful reader and haiku swallower, stay winning.


Heard it’s your birthday.

Wish that I could give a shit.

Here’s a greeting card.


You’re one year older,

And one more closer to death.

So, you wanna fuck?


I thought you were fat

But it turns out you’re knocked up.

Oh, and you’re still fat.


Bespectacled boys:

Four eyes are better than two.

Watch me suck your dick.


You’re sick? What’s that mean?

Is that just code for Herpes?

No? Um, check your lip.


You had a baby.

I wish I could find the words.

Oh, here goes: That sucks.


Want you in my life,

Just not in my apartment.

We are so over.


Talking about you

Is something that you enjoy.

I can’t say the same.


The sound of your voice

Makes the size of your dick seem

Way less offensive.


No, seriously,

Be my date for this wedding,

And handjobs ensue.





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