The Nazi-Killin’ Business is A-Boomin’: “Inglorious Basterds” Review

Inglorious Basterds might be the least “Tarantino” Tarantino movie yet.  The soundtrack is devoid of forgotten  funk and rock 45’s from the 60’s and 70’s.  Michael Madsen is ghost.  No one is drinking a tasty beverage.

As my buddy Greg said, Tarantino somehow managed to make a sprawling World War II movie where 70% of the film is in French and German and Brad Pitt is on screen for about 20 minutes strictly as comic relief.  Though the previews promote a non-stop festival of bullets and Nazi scalping in German occupied France, Basterds is built on a great eye for subtelty.  From the opening sequence in a gorgeous farm house in the French country side, to the pristine movie theater decorated in Nazi garb that makes up the climax, Basterds could’ve passed for A Thin Red Line visually.  But unlike that boring-ass “war movie”, Basterds delivers the goods.

It’s clear to see why Chris Staltz won Best Actor at Cannes earlier this year as Lt. Hans Landa aka “The Jew Hunter”: every scene featuring the character had my stomach in knots, just waiting for him to unleash hell on someone after accomodating and flattering them with his charm and debonair bouyant smile.  Hans Landa is one of the most terrifying characters I’ve seen since Anton Chigurh–they both know what you know, and how they get what they want is mortifying in a precise, clinical, and ghastly fashion.

Brad Pitt excels when he is asked to go over the top with his characters.  From True Romance to 12 Monkeys to Fight Club to Snatch, Pitt shines when he’s given an extreme personality to work with.  As Basterd chief Aldo Raine, Pitt plays a stereotypical southern drill sargent but through a Tarantino prism–he’s smart, curt, and full of clever verbiage whether he’s squeezing a Nazi for information or seemingly nabbed by the enemy.  You keep waiting for him to show up on screen.

Detractors will knock the running time (2 and a half hours).  History buffs will be miffed.  Tarantino haters will call it indulgent and grandiose.  And I agree with alot of the criticism.  But Basterds is Tarantino mastering suspense.  The movie could stand to lose a good 20 minutes, but the payoffs are so shaking and vicious, I’m fine with sitting in my seat that much longer to get there.

4/4 Stallone Claps

1 Stallone Clap = Get Carter

2 Stallone Claps = Demolition Man

3 Stallone Claps = Cop Land

4 Stallone Claps = Rocky



  1. I heard it was great. I liked everything Tarantino ever did, so I’ll check this out ASAP. Try to find Tarantino’s Howard Stern interview from last week or the week before on the internet. He gets into alot of things that happened in the set such as Brad Pitt giving him the best hash he’s ever smoked.

  2. Absolutely True, Cuzzin! A mst see for all you folk that is still Pissed about the War!

    Now…first of all, I was in the NaTzi Killin Business in the great ww2 an I can tell ya that its a fact that WE was actually tha first into that threr Berlin Bunker! There was Natzi Snipers all around and boy could them ol Krauts Shoot! In Fact, they was so good that we had to resort to bribin um with tickets ta see count basie just so’s we could get past! The Ruskies didnt have the same luck though an as westood there takin souvineer pictures we saw them a pilen up like cord wood….finally, the Natzi Snipers ran outta sandwiches or sumpthin an so’s they left.
    Well, we went ahead an looked up down an sideways in that there bunker… after while some o the euskies that didnt get killed came by…..

    Why, them ol Ruskies couldent find their own asses ifn thay had a road map! Why, after we searched the place, we even had time for a cup o coffee before the first sorry commie basted came snoopin on in! “Too late”, I told um, “He already done left!”

    Well, after coffee (An tradin some cerial boxtops with them ruskes for some gold teeth , we went to see one o his ol buddies… an after we kicked him in the ballz a few times, he told us how Hitler escaped with his wife and Daughter in an aeroplane flown by some Natzi Bytch called Reistech or sompthin…anyways, We thanked him an Kicked him in the ballz again just to reinforce his learnin experience…..

    Then we followed the trail to Denmark where a jet carrying them landed and then took off again for Norway. Sly Basterd, that Hitler…His Son Heinz was already there a waitin on him. And then they got on some submarines and went to Argentina!

    Hell! when we told our bosses that, they went ballistic! What hurts me in my left Nut is that they wouldn’t give us permission to follow them and that dont set right with me to this day 9Especially since we had enough Gold Teeth to pay for the trip ourselves) ! They said that the FBI would handle it……well….I respect Hoover so OK, I let it slide an kinda flowed ino tha Commie Killin Business….

    Then Hoover told Truman that Hitler was doin OK in some Buenos Aries Hotel eatin Strudel and could he put a nice cold Icepick in his brain or somethin an Truman said No! (For some Crazy Reason) an made him drop the whole damn thing! (I never did like Truman).

    So then, Hitler like becomes a nice old man and a Grandfather and what-not and how the hell do you tell a Million GI’s that Hitler is still eatin Strudel an bouncin Grandchildren on his knee and so forth!!!??? Well, you cant! (Well you could, but theyrd be riots n such…)

    The fact that I know this stuff makes me stay up all night and watch war movies (I seen Inglorious Basterds about a Hundred times) and sometimes I get out my old scalpin knife an pretend that the Pig we roast for the annual Philippine festival is a Natzi mother-fletcher an I scalp the Lil Phucker jus like in the good ol dayz! (Course he’s already dead but its good therapy).

    Well, you may not believe that Hitler Died in the 90′s sometime (while showin some o’ his friends his art collection) but Ill bet you a flutter-nutter sandwich if you go to Argentina youll see a lot o Kids that look Just like him! (Or Eva)

    remember this: Sometimes things are just the way they seem. Hitler was a smart Phucker…at least as smart as you…so, if you would get the hell outta Dodge, why wouldn’t he?! Go Figgure, Cuz….

    Yours Truly,
    Signed, Col. Korn
    Chief of Scalpin, Castratin and Killin (an Such), All kinds O’ Natziz, Commies an what-not,
    in the Great ww-2.
    (An head O keepin people from stealin from OXOjamm Studios, an what-not).

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